I am newly diagnosed (less than three weeks) and my husband just is not getting how severely allergic I am to shellfish! He made me react twice. The first time was a learning curve! Second time he used a pan and didn't clean it well I used it later to cook land I ended up in the hospital! I know it takes awhile for everyone to learn to live with allergies but does anyone have advice that would help to speed the process along! Thanks so much!!!
Then there is the most extreme option, which I had to implement for several foods. Out right food bans. I react to several foods in the air.
The positive is it lowers the number of accidental exposures. The negative is it pisses off the others living with you for denying them their "favorite" food.
My family goes out to eat without me occasionally to binge eat the forbidden foods in the house. This works if the other people don't absolutely need those specific foods for their individualized diet. My husband keeps nuts at his work, because they are a safe diabetic snack even though I can't have them in my house at all (even when they aren't being eaten).
I was at a banquet for a conference, and the menu said shrimp and chicken. They were in the same platter, luckily I had a red pen and wrote allergic to Seafood on the back of my ticket. The server brought my meal with the seafood on the plate. I politely asked her to take it back remove the seafood and put the rest on a Clean Plate. She had an attitude and said she couldn't do that. The maitre d hearing this disturbance came over and asked me what the problem was. I told him of my Seafood allergy and he took the plate and fixed it for me. As they walked away, I heard him fussing at the young lady. He said something to the effect of Do You Realize this could turn into a lawsuit for the company. And he nicely brought back a platter that I could eat.
Depends on the type of learner he or the person you are explaining to is. Additionally, there is a very steep learning curve in general for both of you, so try to forgive accidents. Especially cleaning surfaces enough is a HUGE one.
For now, it sounds like you need a dedicated cooking pan that must be 100% seafood/shellfish free. It may be better if it is designated solely for you to cook with. There are all sorts of ways you can uniquely mark specific kitchen equipment to be seafood/shellfish free.
For now, a cheat sheet of unsafe foods and all the things they can hide in need to be in an easy to read and visible location in the kitchen. Stuck on the fridge tends to be helpful for everyone who cooks in your kitchen. Include on the bottom the reminder about which pans not to use for the unsafe foods.
Do you have a dishwasher? At least for me, I find I have fewer reactions from things that have gone through the dishwasher compared to just cleaned in the sink.
We have a barbecue and at points I have had a dedicated surface on the barbecue so that the amount of cross contamination goes down. There are still accidents, so your allergy level should make a whole barbecue a shellfish free surface.
Explain your allergies politely and firmly over and over again with your husband and let him know that new knowledge about your disability will be constantly incoming over the next few years as you better figure it out. It will be a major learning project that you need a lot of help on to keep you safe. Make sure he knows that he is your partner and protector and he will take the safety conversation better than "You almost killed me, stop doing that."
I would suggest that you create a set of steps that you go through when your allergen is present in the house, like use a new cloth, etc. It will come with time, but you may want to create this 'rule list' and post it on the fridge for the first few months. Also check out FARE for some print outs.
I would talk to your husband about it and consider making your home a shellfish free zone. My wife ended up in the hospital the last time she touched shellfish so it's a no-go at our home. My dairy allergy isn't as bad so she just has to wash dishes welll if she eats it.
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