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Social Situation Involving Food

A MyFoodAllergyTeam Member asked a question 💭
Philadelphia, PA

I was invited to a birthday party for a friend's son and she said that she be serving pizza and birthday cake, which means there will be nothing for me to eat since I have allergies to gluten and dairy. I was told that I should "eat ahead of time" and I was only asked so I wouldn't "feel left out". I would feel left out as it is whether or not I ate ahead of time and I would have to either go and buy my own food to bring or just stand there and try not to be upset and pretend to smile and be… read more

January 21, 2019
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Answer Summary

Members responded with empathy to someone navigating the painful dilemma of attending a party where all the food would trigger their... Read more

Members responded with empathy to someone navigating the painful dilemma of attending a party where all the food would trigger their allergies, with many acknowledging the emotional weight of watching others enjoy foods they can no longer have. Several members shared practical strategies they've used, including bringing their own safe food to share, eating beforehand and focusing on the social connection rather than the meal, or politely declining when the situation feels too uncomfortable or risky for cross-contamination. A recurring theme was the importance of prioritizing both physical safety and emotional well-being without guilt, recognizing that true friends will understand and that it's okay to protect yourself from situations that feel shaming or isolating.

A MyFoodAllergyTeam Member

First of all don't feel bad. When people suggest stuff like that they aren't really thinking of you, they just don't want to look bad for not inviting you. Don't feel like you have to go if you don't want to, and if you do there are frozen pizzas you can get that are gluten/dairy free and lots of sweet treats. If you bring some to share, maybe more people will like those types of foods. I have "converted" friends and family to enjoying dairy free desserts by bringing them so some of them being some too now just because it's yummy :)

May 4, 2019
A MyFoodAllergyTeam Member

I would rather take my own food and join others. There are several gluten free options and /or a salad and cookie for dessert. This will iensure that you eat properly.

January 22, 2019
A MyFoodAllergyTeam Member

It's hard at first but just ask the host if it would be helpful / convenient to take your own gf pizza and cake along. They are always relieved. Then enjoy! 😁

January 28, 2019
A MyFoodAllergyTeam Member

You are to hard on yourself AndiLiz..I understand what your feeling because I felt the same way for a long time and end up with depression because of my fear of going to social event because my fear of not eating and have to explain myself all the time.Please don’t isolate yourself ,try to fight your fear.Enjoy the company of friends ,forget about what your going to eat or not .I know it’s hard ,I try everyday to push away those feelings of feeling guilty about something who is out of my control.
Hope I help a little

January 23, 2019
A MyFoodAllergyTeam Member

take your own safe food. or dont go, or go for the company. my allergic kids wouldnt blink an eye at either not eating or bringing their own, They would sit with others eating with a drink . my son would simply pop to macdonalds as they have safe food for him, and daughter would eat later.

February 12, 2019

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