Dating with food allergies can feel challenging. Fortunately, there are ways to make it easier. With preparation and open communication, it is possible to have healthy relationships and a social life while living with food allergies.

Members of MyFoodAllergyTeam sometimes ask about dating with food allergies. Common questions include whether to accept dinner invites and when to mention food allergies.

One MyFoodAllergyTeam member said, “I was told to hide the truth about my food allergies and allow my date to get to know me without those allergies. Then later, once we’d made a connection, let them know I have food allergies. To me, that feels like dating a ticking time bomb and waiting for the explosion.”

In this article, we’ll share six tips to help you navigate different dating and social situations with food allergies.

1. Pick Dates Without Food

One of the easiest ways to avoid the stress of food allergies on a date is to pick an activity that doesn’t involve eating. Going to a museum or bowling alley can create a fun atmosphere and allow you to get to know each other while reducing the worry about allergens.

Find an interest you share and spend the afternoon doing something you both enjoy. Whether it’s going to the movies or browsing a bookstore, you can pick an activity that doesn’t center on food and have a great time.

2. Plan Ahead if You’re Going to a Restaurant

If you prefer a dinner date, take a few steps to ensure your meal is safe before heading to the restaurant. Having a list of your food allergies to share with the chef can help make sure your meal is safe to eat.

One MyFoodAllergyTeam member said, “We downloaded a chef card from FARE. We filled it in with our allergies and had it laminated. The cards explain the allergies and about cross-contact risks. We give the card to the server and ask them to give it to the cooks. We don’t take the card back until it comes out with the food. That way we know everyone has seen it and taken precautions.”

These precautions are especially important when you are meeting a date at a new restaurant. Another MyFoodAllergyTeam member explained, “I have a few restaurants I go to, and when I try a new one I feel like my life is in danger … which it technically is, since my anaphylaxis has reached a point where I have to carry an EpiPen with me at all times.”

Knowing the ingredients in your meals is essential for staying protected. Always look into the restaurant’s food preparation protocols before dining out. You can check online or call ahead to see if they offer an allergy-friendly menu. This helps you take the necessary precautions to avoid a life-threatening reaction, ensuring both you and your date can enjoy the meal safely.

3. Educate Your Date About Your Food Allergies

Talking about personal matters like food allergies with someone new can make you feel vulnerable. However, it’s an important initial conversation to have early on. Teaching your date about your food allergies can help them understand how to keep you safe and how to best accommodate you.

Some people may not be familiar with food allergies until they meet someone who has them. Prepare what you want to say ahead of time, and use resources like the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America to help explain the facts. Highlight that knowing about your food allergens is important for creating a safe environment for both of you.

Your date might also have food allergies and relate to your concerns. If so, they might have tips for eating safely that you haven’t considered, and it could make the dating experience more enjoyable.

4. Learn About Safe Kissing if Your Date Is Eating a Food Allergen

Kissing can become riskier when food allergies are involved. According to the Allergy & Asthma Network, an allergic reaction can happen if your partner’s saliva contains particles of a food you’re allergic to.

Make sure you discuss what your date has eaten that day and if there’s something that you need to avoid. This conversation is important to help prevent a severe allergic reaction.

Having this conversation can also give you time before waiting to get physically close if your date has eaten something you’re allergic to. Waiting time can vary depending on your specific food allergies. Be sure to talk to your medical provider about how long you should wait ahead of time. You could also consider asking your date to brush their teeth and rinse their mouth to reduce any risk before kissing.

When it comes to physical contact with your date, one MyFoodAllergyTeam member said, “Try encouraging him to drink water and wash his face, especially his lips. That’s always worked for me, and I'm severely allergic. Also, always have antihistamines!”

5. Be Prepared for a Reaction

In any dating situation, it’s important to keep yourself protected in every way. This means making sure your date knows where to find your epinephrine auto-injector in case of an allergic reaction.

Always carry your epinephrine with you and keep it easily accessible. You can even teach your date how to use an epinephrine auto-injector for emergencies.

Whatever precautions or treatments you use to address your food allergy reactions, always be prepared. Carry a bag with all your supplies to help you feel confident and safe.

Being aware of your dating environment is also important. Taking sanitizing wipes can help keep you safe from allergens in different dating situations.

Always discuss your anaphylaxis action plan with your health care professional and carry the necessary medications at all times. Even if you don’t plan on eating during your date, it’s vital to be ready for emergencies.

6. Discuss Your Feelings Upfront and Often

Understanding how to manage food allergies in your dating and social life is important. If you feel comfortable, let your date know how your food allergies make you feel.

Whether they cause extra nerves on a first date or make you worry on a night out with your new partner, sharing these feelings is key. Expressing these feelings to your date can help them reassure you that your precautions are in place or allow you to adjust your date plans as needed.

Managing food allergies in dating and relationships requires talking often and learning together. From the first date to building a life together, it’s important to keep having these conversations. This helps you discover what works for both of you and allows you to grow closer.

Having these conversations can build trust between you and your date or longtime partner. As long as you stay open, you can find ways to enjoy your time together. Talking about your allergies can also create the opportunity to discover new eating options and hobbies together.

Dating can be overwhelming on its own. If you feel like your food allergy is negatively affecting your social life, talk to your allergist or a therapist. They will help determine the best treatment plan for your food allergies. They may even have tips and resources for navigating dating with food allergies.

Talk With Others Who Understand

MyFoodAllergyTeam is the social network for people with food allergies and their loved ones. On MyFoodAllergyTeam, more than 41,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand life with food allergies.

Are you living with food allergies? How do you approach dating and getting to know someone new? Share your experience in the comments below, or start a conversation by posting on your Activities page.